House of Cards
by Iana
Summary: "There was no golden star next to her name. While he shook like a leaf in the wind, paper rustling madly in his hands, all Finn could think about was how plain her name looked without the golden star next to it."
1. Chapter 1

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

A.N: Sorry about any grammatical/spelling errors! Please feel free to comment on those as well, as long as leave me a reply, I'll be happy. Can you tell I'm a little mad at Finn right now? LOL.

**GLEE**

"_Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. _

_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real. _

_There's just too much that time cannot erase."_

**GLEE**

**Chapter 1**

It all begun as an impossible idea. Those you have when you hurt too much but never think you can actually do it. After the talk with Quinn, she thought about it for a while. But she wrote the song, they won Regionals and the idea left temporarily.

The happiness she felt when she won that little star trophy had been enormous and she actually thought, for a moment that leaving Lima had been a crazy, idiot idea and she was happy where she was. Until the end of Glee practice, when Quinn kissed Finn in front of everyone and Rachel's bubble burst.

If they were a cartoon, her heart would be on the floor now, beating comically while Finn stomped into it. But they weren't and it hurt so bad she actually felt out of breath. Mercedes watched as the smile left Rachel's face and turned to look at the direction the other girl was staring. She scoffed when she saw Finn and Quinn leaving together and holding hands.

"Rachel, girl, don't mind them. I…"

The petite girl turned her eyes to her and they held such pain that Mercedes couldn't finish her sentence. "It's okay, Mercedes. I think I'll just go home now… Thanks for this." Rachel said with a tense smile and waved the trophy. She quickly grabbed her bag and left, almost in a run.

That was the day that Rachel realized that she needed to get away from Lima, from them, otherwise she was going to spend the rest of her school years being miserable, standing in the shadow of a boy that didn't love her anymore (had he ever?).

When she got home, her decision was made.

**GLEE**

Rachel's dads were away that week for a big trial so she worked meticulously on her plan and went to school mechanically for two days and only because it was the closest ticket to New York she could buy and she didn't want the school contacting her dads about her absence.

Yes, she knew New York was terribly cliché, but it was the place where dreams were made and she had plenty of them that she wanted to make come true. She knew the odds of her being able to get a career right away was impossible and Rachel was a realistic. All she wanted, really, was to get away from Lima for a couple of months, see New York with new eyes, think a lot about her life and what she wanted to do with it and just breathe.

Take a deep breath and not feel like her lungs were so constricted all the time. Let the wind blow on her hair and be glad she was alive instead of wishing she wasn't every time she spotted Finn on the hallways talking to Quinn next to her locker. She wanted to be happy, to laugh, and to find the joy in life that only singing brought her these days.

More than anything, Rachel wanted to change. She wanted to grow up, be a more lovable person, to not have to struggle so much every time she wanted to fit in. And she knew that being after Finn turned her usually high self-esteem to dust and she couldn't seem to make herself believe she was beautiful and talented and all those things she whispered to her image on the mirror every day.

Now, as she flew away from home and Lima was nothing but a dot on the map, Rachel placed her head back on the seat and pondered on the fact that even now, several feet above the ground and not really out of Ohio yet, her heart already felt lighter; that her breath came just a little bit easier. And she was ok.

**GLEE**

The pounding on the door woke them at 2am. Burt got out of bed and stumbled sleepily towards the entrance, half-awake and half-thinking that surely the house was on fire.

The stairs were tricky but he managed to get to the foyer without breaking his neck in the process. He opened the door with one eye opened the other closed against the porch light and stared at the rumpled, desperate visitor. "Leroy, what the…"

Rachel's dad burst into the Hummel house in a desperation led by parental fear. Carol, who was coming down the stairs, followed by a sleep-walking Finn, took one look at him and woke right up.

"Leroy? What happened?"

He took one look at Finn and lunged, grabbing the boy's shoulders and shaking him. "Finn, have you seen Rachel, do you know where she went?"

Finn's brain was slow on the uptake when he was fully awake; when he was half-asleep it was like a car with a frozen motor on the winter. It kind of had to warm up before it kicked to gear. So he stared at small man in glasses in front of him for a little while and blinked. The question finally processed and his eyes widened while his stomach dropped to his feet unpleasantly.

"Rachel? No, Mr. Berry, I haven't seen her since school today."

"Oh my GOD!" Leroy whispered, taking his glasses off and pressing both thumbs to his eyes to stench a flow of tears.

Carol sent a questioning look towards Kurt, who had came up from the basement tying his robe and sighed when the other boy shook his head with a shrug. Whispering soft word to the distressed man, she led Leroy towards the living room where he collapsed boneless on the couch.

"Leroy, what happened?"

"I'm sorry for waking you up, Carol… I was in Atlanta with Hiram on a big case and decided to come home earlier than planned. Rachel has been really down lately and I worried about leaving her alone. Hiram and I decided he'd stay and finish up while I'd check on her, maybe do something fun together. So I took the first available flight, but when I got home and went to give her a goodnight kiss, she wasn't there!"

Finn's mouth dropped open. Rachel was missing? What the hell? He saw her that same day and she seemed fine! She even smiled at him! _But was she?_ Finn swallowed the lump on his throat when he realized that no, maybe she wasn't fine.

"There was a letter on her pillow and her bedazzled microphone. She doesn't leave that mic behind for anything. She takes it everywhere! Oh my God, Carol! What happened to my baby girl? What am I going to tell Hiram?"

The man burst into tears and Finn's mother rubbed his back soothingly.

"And what does the letter say, Leroy?"

He handed it towards Finn, unable to speak and the teen took it with shaking hands. The paper was kind of wrinkled, as if Rachel's dad had been holding it too tight. It made a noise as Finn unfolded that seemed too loud, even with the sound of sobs and sniffles that came from the couch and Finn's heart thudded on his ears like it wanted to escape his chest.

The awful feeling in his stomach he recognized as dread made it hard for him to focus on Rachel neat, flowery hand-writing. Clearing his throat, he mouthed the words as he read and didn't even realize he was turning a sick shade of pale.

"Finn?"

Kurt placed a hand on his arm and started to read over his shoulder.

_Daddies,_

_First, I want to begin by saying I love you. I know that right now you may be finding this hard to believe, but I do. And I also know it will be hard to understand and to accept what I'm doing but I have the faith that knowing me, you'll come to see that this is the best for me right now._

_I feel suspended in a place I don't belong and truly, I need to grow up. You raised me to believe I could do anything and to overcome obstacles but I never learned how to deal with not believing in myself. _

_I hurt Daddy. All the time. I feel suffocated and unwanted and I really want to belong. There's nothing in Lima for me anymore but I know that overcoming the rejection and feeling like I'm worth something, even if I'm constantly told otherwise is the final step I need to take in order to grow up. I need space to learn to do that. I need to think and plan what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and Dad, I know you'll think I'm being overly dramatic, that Finn's just a boy and "he was my first but he wouldn't be my last" but I really thought, for just that small space of time we were together that he was going to be the one. _

_So I need to rebuild my dreams; to stop being so diva all the time. To not wear school girl clothes and make myself ready for a world that's going to eat me alive for sure. _

_Finn was the best thing that happened to me and there's not a day in my life I don't regret hurting him. After all, you taught me better than to be a cheater and a liar. Guess I managed to do both things in the end._

_So, anyway, I'm leaving for a while, but I'll come back. When I'm ready, I'll come back. I took some of my savings and I still have my credit card, if you don't cancel it. If you do it's okay, I'll find some other way. _

_I'll turn my phone on next week if you want to talk to me; this week I don't want to talk about anything. I'll just take walks around the park, eat ice cream cones and meet new people. I want to find a job and laugh. Most of all, I want to feel like the golden star you always told me I am. _

_Please, Daddy, tell Dad not to go to the police or to come looking for me like crazy. I need this. I promise I'll be ok and I'll keep in touch; have faith in me like you did so many times before. _

_I love you._

_P.S: Try to see with Mr. Figgings if I can fax over my homework. Tell him I have a contagious disease or something._

_Rachel_

There was no golden star next to her name. While he shook like a leaf in the wind, paper rustling madly in his hands, all Finn could think about was how plain her name looked without the golden star next to it. Kurt's hand had tightened on his arm like a clamp but Finn never felt it. He had just lost all feeling in his extremities. Because all he could think about was that there was no golden star next to Rachel's name. He had taken the light out of her.

**GLEE**


	2. Chapter 2

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

A.N: As usual, you guys are amazing and I love every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

A.N 2: I love the idea of Rachel's father, the dark-skinned one that looks dangerous, giving the kids at school a piece of his mind! So I took some creative license to mold the character to my liking. =) Hope you like it!

**GLEE**

"_Don't say anything, just let it all like this. I don't mind if we're not exactly right. Everything is real, my lies and so it doesn't hurt. Night and day complete each other, our eternal love and hate; I imagine you, I fix you and I make the scene I want, I take my clothes off for you. My great fiction love; I recreated you just for my pleasure."_

**GLEE**

**Chapter 2**

Hiram got home the day after, yelling bloody murder about lawsuits, Amber Alert and killing Finn in the nastiest way possible. It took Leroy hours to calm him down enough so they could go to the school and talk to the principal without him fearing for someone's life.

Raising Rachel had been easy. They'd always had a trust and talk method and Rachel was such a sweet little girl she hardly gave them any trouble. But right now it felt she'd been saving up for that particular moment. Between the two of them they were kind of lost because they now realized they didn't know everything about Rachel's school life.

Leroy knew they were both busy and they often left Rachel to fend for herself but he also knew they loved her deeply and they thought she had friends to be there for her when they weren't around. But a talk with Kurt the previous night at the Hummel's house had changed that misguided perception.

"Mr. Berry, you have to understand I can't do what you are asking! I know Rachel was bullied sometimes but I have too many kids here, I try but I can't …"

Hiram raised a hand to interrupt.

"Mr, Figgins, I don't really care if you have the entire population of the United States of America on your school. I just came here to inform you we want to talk to Mr. Shue and that Glee Club of his; and that this school should expect a lawsuit soon if you don't manage to forward us notes of Rachel's classes and her homework. She needs time to recover and because it's the school's fault she left at the first place, you will make this easy for us. She will be back in time to take her tests and if she doesn't pass then we'll see. But I won't have my little girl behind on her studies because you allowed those kids to alienate her. Her teacher knew she was sad, her so called friends knew, hell, even that counselor of yours that has an obsessive compulsive disorder knew about it and you just sat on your hands and looked the other way. So PLEASE, Mr. Figgins, tell me again how _I_ should understand what _you_ are going through with those kids."

By the end of the speech Hiram was almost foaming at the mouth and Figgins was trapped by his own incompetence. So he nodded with a sigh and promised he would talk to all of Rachel's teachers to have some material drawn up for her to study while away.

"Now, we want to talk to the Glee Club."

Glad to have an excuse to be away from the scary looking dark-skinned man and the stern little one with glasses, Figgins hastily pointed them on the right direction to Glee room and with a tension headache, started calling Rachel's teachers to talk to them.

So, Leroy and Hiram stomped (more Hiram, Leroy just held his hand and soothed hoping his husband wouldn't die of a heart attack) towards Glee practice and when they arrived there, found all the kids talking, waiting for practice to start. Mr. Shue was shuffling some papers next to the piano man.

Hiram cleared his throat and like a movie scene everyone stopped talking to look at him. Finn winced. _Crap! The scary Dad was back…_ He had been sleep-walking towards school for the whole day. Leroy had asked him and Kurt not to mention anything to anyone until they could talk to Mr. Figgins so Rachel wouldn't get in trouble with the school. He felt terrible. He wanted to yell and scream and pull at his hair out of frustration. He wanted to bang his head against the wall and curse the world for being such an idiot.

More than anything, he wanted to talk to someone about those thousand weird feeling inside his chest. But he just kept his mouth shut and stared at both Rachel's dad.

"Yes?" Mr. Shue went to both men with a smile on his face. Leroy gave a tiny one back because he didn't want to be rude; Hiram just scowled.

"We're Leroy and Hiram Berry, Rachel's dads."

Mr. Shue stuck out his hand but Hiram didn't take it.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Berry? Rachel didn't come to class today."

Embarrassed, he placed his hand back in his pocket.

Hiram walked past the confused teacher and went to stand next to the piano while Leroy talked in whispers with Mr. Shue. The kids by now had realized something was going on and were watching the weird interaction with rapid fascination. Hiram looked at each and every one of them and frowned. Those kids alienated his little girl and made her run to another state. He felt such an unspeakable rage it was difficult to even force the words around the lump in his throat.

"So, you're Rachel's _friends_."

"Friends with man-hands? More like slight acquaintances." Santana whispered with a smirk, looking down at her nails.

"Oh, I see. You must be Santana."

His tone was dangerous enough to cause her to look up and loose the smirk.

"We'll talk later. I take it you're Quinn then?" He looked at Brittany who shook her head and pointed to the seat next to Finn where Quinn was seated.

"Aw, that's sweet isn't it, Leroy? Our dearest Finn and his girlfriend." He sent a brief look over his shoulder towards his husband who was shaking his head in disappointment while staring at Finn. He really liked the boy and knew what it was like to be 17 and confused. Sadly, he had hurt his little girl and her feelings came first. "You must be very happy to have him back, aren't you sweetie? After all, it's not every man who accepts a woman who cheats on him AND gets pregnant with his best friend's baby. He must love you very much; after all, he forgave YOU, didn't he?"

It was implied that he hadn't forgiven Rachel for something much smaller than that and Finn blushed.

"EXCUSE me? Who are you and what business is it of yours?" Quinn got up, blonde curls flying in indignation.

Hiram pointed a finger. Quinn plopped back down on the chair, not used to people talking like that to her.

"Sit back down! I'm not done and if your parents haven't taught you some respect then I will. It is way past time you and I talked, Ms. Fabray and you Ms. Lopez; also you, Mr. Hudson. So you will sit and listen to what I have to say to you, or so help me god."

"Mr. Berry, you can't talk to my kids that way."

Mr. Shue hurried to the front of the class to try to get control of the situation. Hiram whirled on his with an ironic laugh.

"Oh, Will, believe me when I say I CAN. You are one step away from having me report you to the school board so shut up while I have my say."

William stared in open-mouthed disbelief. Leroy smiled. Hiram was so HOT when he got ruffled up like that.

"First of all, let me say you won't win Nationals this year. Again."

The room exploded. All kids got up at once (except for Artie, of course and Finn, who could only cower in deep embarrassment) and shouted questions in barely covered indignation, complaining to Mr. Shue. Hiram slammed his door on the piano twice, effectively shutting everyone up.

"For God's sake, I know your parents at least TRIED, so _pretend_ you are educated, well-behaved children!"

They all sat down again, arms crossed, pouting. Hiram scowled. Good GOD, Rachel was much easier to talk to. Hell, psychopaths in court were easier to talk to.

"Rachel has left Ohio. We don't know where she is, we don't know when she'll be back and since Nationals is only a month away, we doubt she'll be back in time."

"That's great! The diva just left us to fend for ourselves again." Santana threw her hands in the air and huffed-puffed. Hiram's eyes narrowed.

"The DIVA as you put it, Ms. Lopez, is heartbroken and depressed. I take you know how it is since your little blonde friend here refuses to leave her boyfriend to be with you?" Santana and the whole room gasped. Brittany just looked at the other girl with a sad look on her face.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is. For all I gathered from what Rachel told us and what I'm seeing here, you're all outcasts. And I don't want to know why you were all so mean to Rachel because I know you're all jealous of her. What I want to tell all of you is that I'll be coming to each and every one of your houses and I'll talk to your parents. And if that doesn't work, lawsuits will be filled and I'll make damn sure all of you are expelled and unable to graduate next year."

"You can't do that! We didn't do anything to that damn troll! She's annoying and selfish and she just gets on everybody's nerves! I don't have to be friends with her if I don't want to and you can't blame us for Rachel being a diva!"

"Quinn! Shut up!" Finn whispered harshly.

"No, Finn! We're not to blame for Rachel leaving. We're in love!"

Hiram laughed loudly.

"In LOVE, young lady? Oh, grow up! You're not in love with Mr. Hudson and if he hasn't realized that by now then he's more naïve than I already thought he was. You just want a crown Ms. Fabray. You want to be popular. If Rachel is annoying, you're frivolous. If she's selfish, what does that say about you? And just so you know, last year, when that charming man you call a father threw you out on your pregnant bottom? Rachel came to us and asked if you could live with us but before we could say yes, you moved in with Mercedes. You are a sorry young girl with misconceptions that your life is going to be perfect and pretty when in reality; the world out there will eat you up and spit you out."

Quinn stared open-mouthed.

"And you, Finn. I've never thought you were good enough for my little girl. But she loves you and at least I thought you were a nice boy who'd be kind to her if things between you didn't work out. Guess that's too much to ask of you, isn't it boy? But in reality, what I want to say to you kids is that you and that teacher of yours are hypocrites. You sing a song like "Loser like me" at Regionals when in reality you do the exact same things to each other those bullies out there are doing to you. And if you don't grow up and realize you're graduating next year and that people out there won't care if you were popular in school or not, you are going to be run over like you're garbage, you're the ones who are going to be washing Rachel's car in the future."

He turned to Will.

"And you, Mr. Shue. Just because your star doesn't shine like it used to on your glory days of high school, don't try to smother Rachel's. Let's go, Leroy."

**GLEE**

Rachel stared at the view from the top of the Empire State Building. Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr had portrayed the most beautiful love story of all times and it was nice to be here and imagine what it was like almost 60 years before when the movie was filmed.

Truth was Rachel had always been a romantic. All the old movies and Broadway plays she had watched as a little girl had made her believe in true love and that once she found it; it would be perfect and forever. Except it wasn't. Finn didn't love her even if she loved him, she was miserable and they hadn't found their happy ever after like Cary and Deborah in the end. Happy endings just didn't happen for her, it seemed.

So she sipped her mocha frappuchino, despite the cold, and let her mind wonder home. Sure enough both her Dads already knew she was gone and she wondered if they had respected her wishes. She figured they had since the police hadn't come knocking on her door. She wondered if the Glee Club was happy or sad she'd left.

Today was the last day of freedom. Her week off had ended and now was the day she'd have to turn her cell phone on and log into her e-mail and Facebook accounts to show her fathers she was alive and that they could still trust her to keep her promises, even if she had disappointed them by leaving.

So, because the view soothed her somehow, she pulled her Iphone from her pocket and turned it on. It was a recent purchase she had made two days after stepping foot in New York. After going to the Post Office to grab her apartment keys from one of the boxes and leaving her bags at her new place, she went to the Apple store and invested on a new phone. One that wasn't bedazzled or filled with stickers and that didn't tell the whole world she was gullible young girl.

She wanted to grown up; she would start by changing her appearance on the outside in order to get taken seriously. Who would hire a singer that looked like a Japanese hentai?

Rachel was taking a sip of the iced coffee and pondering that when her cellphone beeped and buzzed several times. Looking down at it, she saw that she had several text and voice messages. With a grimace and a sigh, she touched the screen to begin reading the SMS.

Several from Kurt, a handful from Mercedes and Artie, even a few from Brittany. She deleted those without replying and begun with the voice messages; her dads, Kurt again and incredibly or not, Santana.

The Latina girl wasn't snippy or mean. She told Rachel she'd been selfish but she would do it too if she could and that she hoped the other girl figured everything out in the end. Rachel would've gawked in disbelief if in the end she hadn't finished it with a "That doesn't mean we're friends, dwarf."

She didn't know if she was happy or sad that Finn hadn't called her once.

"Are you ok?"

Rachel raised her eyes and stared at a good-looking, sun tanned boy looking at her with eyes the color of chocolate syrup.

"Um… Yeah, I'm fine."

She was a little confused about the question until she realized she was crying. Wiping her eyes furiously with the back of the hand that was holding her Iphone, she smiled a little at him, blushing to the roots of her hair.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm just… adjusting." She whispered and placed the phone on her back pocket.

"I know how that is. I'm sorry to disturb you; it's just that you looked really sad for a moment. By the way, I'm Igor."

The way he said the name made Rachel giggle. He had a cute accent.

"I'm Rachel. Rachel Berry. Where did you get that tan?"

She slapped a hand on her mouth in embarrassment but the boy just flashed pearly white teeth at her and winked. He was tall, almost as tall as Finn, good looking and muscular. His skin was sun kissed and his hair was raven black. He had a strong bone structure and a nose piercing.

"I just got back from a visit with my Grandma. I spent almost three months in Rio for Christmas, New Years and Carnaval and since her apartment window faces the beach, you can guess I spent all my free time there."

They spend hours talking. When the chill from the wind got too much, they left the Empire State Building and stopped at a café for a cup of hot chocolate and some tarts.

Rachel found out that Igor was the son of a successful businessman who had moved to New York when he was 15 years old to study and never left. His mother was American but had Indian blood, that's why she thought he'd look natural in panache and a banana tree leaf covering his boy parts.

Igor was born in Brazil because he came two months earlier than planned, when his parents were there to visit with his grandma for the last time before he was born. Rachel learned a lot about him that day and also told him a lot about her as well.

She cried and talked like she hadn't done with anyone else ever before and it felt good. It also felt foreign and in the end she felt like after that, he was never going to want to see her again.

But he was delighted by her. He loved the fact she was so petite she barely reached his sternum and he didn't mind that she talked a lot because he always had been an amazing listener. And he was a sucker for petite girls in pain.

"So I decided to leave Ohio and come to New York. Meet new people, do all those things I want to do here but never had the time; just think about my life and make some changes."

Igor gave her that beautiful smile again and covered her hand with his.

"Well, Rachel. I think that's just about perfect. And I'm glad you came to New York to meet me."

He squeezed her fingers once with a playful smirk and took his hand away to grab a chocolate tart. Rachel blushed, but smiled back. For once in almost 4 months, she took a breath and her lungs expanded, unobstructed by her hurting heart.

**GLEE**


	3. Chapter 3

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I love every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Amazing Magna Parva reminded me that Hiram Berry is the white dad and Leroy the black one. Sooo, I'll just pretend Rachel never mentioned it on the first episode and be happy, ok? =) Thanks, hun!

**A.N 3:** Opening lines: Save me by RBD

**A.N 4:** I know, I know that Rachel's birthday is in December and she's actually 16 buuuut…. Well, here she's 17. =D Love you.

**A.N 5:** I don't remember it being said on the show when exactly Sectionals and Regionals happen during the year, so, taking by the dates the show aired on those episodes, I'm placing each competition like this; Sectionals on November, Regionals on March and Nationals on June. =D

A.N 6: If anyone is curious to see what Igor (http:/ img189. imageshack .us/i/ micaelborges . jpg /) and Roberta (http:/ img88 .imageshack. us/ img88/) look like, just use the links and take off the spaces.

**GLEE**

_Every now and then I get so sad, 'cause I've missed you since you left me; I'm so disconnected from my life. Sometimes I can't stand the morning light 'cause I've missed you since you left me, I'm just a reflection of your heart. And in the middle of the night, I want you back, I really need you. Give me love, give me shelter…._

**GLEE**

**Chapter 3**

**GLEE**

_"So I decided to leave Ohio and come to New York. Meet new people, do all those things I want to do here but never had the time; just think about my life and make some changes."_

_ Igor gave her that beautiful smile again and covered her hand with his. _

_ "Well, Rachel. I think that's just about perfect. And I'm glad you came to New York to meet me."_

_ He squeezed her fingers once with a playful smirk and took his hand away to grab a chocolate tart. Rachel blushed, but smiled back. For once in almost 4 months, she took a breath and her lungs expanded, unobstructed by her hurting heart. _

**GLEE**

"Girl, what the hell?"

Rachel stared in a kind of funny disbelief at Rob, Igor's sister, and cringed when the older girl pulled a lock of her hair. Igor and Rachel had been attached to the hip ever since they met, two weeks before and not longer after that he had introduced her to his sister, Roberta. She wasn't really his sister; her mother had died giving birth to her and the Valente's had adopted her. She was a couple of months older than Igor and pretty as a button; except she wore pink highlights on her blonde curls and had a sassy attitude a lot like Santana's.

From his position on the couch, Igor snorted and munched on some chips. His hair was up in all directions and he looked hot in a white t-shirt and jeans. Rachel sent him a dirty look.

"Raquel, what's with those leg warmer things? And this sweater, for Christ's sake! No wonder Igor said you looked like a pornographic elf. You need skirts that aren't plaid, cute tops and definitely a new hair cut. Maybe some highlights. We keep those bangs, they are sexy. But that little girl look has to go. You're almost 18, sweetie. That look just makes you look retarded."

"Hey!" Rachel protested with a pout. But since Rob was right and she was planning on changing her look all along, she just nodded. Igor grinned at her from the couch, his cheeks stuffed from chips like a squirrel making her giggle.

Roberta left the room rolling her eyes muttering about going to grab her bag and leaving "the two lovebirds alone". Igor uncurled himself from the couch, all 6 feet of him and brushed the crumbs from his shirt.

"Amor, I'm sorry about my sister, she can be a little overwhelming for periods longer than 20 minutes."

Rachel shook her head to show him she hadn't mind and gave him a smile. Truth was, Igor had done wonders for her self-esteem and she had wanted to have a makeover for a while now so it just seemed like the perfect time. Rob,(call me Roberta and I'll punch you) was sassy but nicer than anyone Rachel had ever befriended.

That same day they had met on the top of the Empire State, Rachel had received half a dozen of calls later from Lima. Finn hadn't called once. Igor had stroked her hair and held her hand as she burst into tears when her Dads called and even kissed her cheek after she talked to Kurt.

Even Mr. Shue had called. She had also cried with him. So after all that, Igor and her had bounded on a strange, instant friendship kind of thing that sometimes happened and in two weeks he knew more about her than Finn or even her own fathers.

His whole family was incredible and Mrs. Valente (Call me Lisa) had welcomed her like Rachel was one of those sick puppies she had found on the street. The older woman had even talked to her fathers! It was actually pretty bizarre.

"Amor, hello, anyone there?" Igor knocked softly on her forehead and she giggled. Ever since a couple of days before when he had called her Rach and she had burst into a new set of tears ("there she goes again", Rob had said), he called her Amor. She didn't know what it meant and she wasn't so sure she wanted to figure it out either. She liked how it sounded when he said it and for her, that was enough.

"Sorry, Igor. I'm just thinking."

He grinned. "Well, that's always a problem." He dodged when she tried to punch his arm, grabbed her closed fist, raised her fisted hand and kissed her knuckles.

"God, you are so violent. I don't think I want to be friends with you anymore."

Rachel grinned.

"Rob wants to get you singing on mom's bar."

"Say what?" Rachel gaped at him.

Lisa Valente owned a bar/restaurant that had live performances every night, 5 times a week. It was kind of like Coyote Ugly, except not. Everyone who worked there knew how to sing and dance and at random, crazy hours of the night the song would suddenly change and all the waitresses and even Ivan, the bartender would stop doing whatever they were doing and get into a sing and dance number; even Igor played his guitar and performed there with Roberta sometimes.

"She wants you to work there. Don't you need the money?"

"Igor, I'm still 17."

"I know. She got mom to apply for a special license for you to work as a bartender there and sing. Your dads will need to sign it, though."

Rachel gaped at him. Money was becoming an issue and she didn't want to call home and ask her dads. They were being supportive enough already.

"C'mon, Rachel, time to go!" Roberta promptly ended the conversation as she entered the room pretty much like she always did; fast and disorienting like a hurricane, grabbed Rachel by the arm and pulled her towards the door. Igor followed clumsily, trying to put on his sweater, coat, shoes and gloves at the same time so he wouldn't be left behind.

**GLEE**

They were going to loose Nationals. Finn quietly scribbled on his notebook as Mercedes sang/yelled a Toni Braxton song at Glee practice. She had a good voice and they had a pretty good selection, but they lacked the competitive spirit and well… just the spirit that they had when Rachel was in the Club.

He knew he was having trouble putting his heart into the songs lately; hell, he was having trouble placing his heart into anything lately. Even that damn prom Quinn was bitching so much to him about. They had 2 months to put everything into shape or hope and pray like hell that Rachel came back and forgave them enough to want to sing at Nationals with them.

Finn avoided Quinn like the plague now and was seriously considering breaking up with her. He felt so tired all the time, distant for everything and everyone. Kurt had asked the day before when was he going to call Rachel and talk to her. Finn didn't know. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her; he just didn't know what to say. After reading that letter she had left for her fathers, Finn realized how much he had hurt her and what a gigantic ass he had been.

All he wanted was for her to come back, so that he could find some lame-ass attempt to get her to forgive him. But she was hundreds of miles away and he couldn't even get the courage to call her or at least write her an email.

Finn checked her Facebook everyday. He got himself into knots pondering if someone named "Igor Valente" was her new boyfriend; and then she added a "Rob Valente" and he got even more worried. It was selfish but he didn't want her to make any friends in New York; he wanted her to come home. Kurt talked to her almost every day but he didn't have the heart to ask his brother for details, in case he didn't like the answer.

"Finn? God Damnit, Finn!" Quinn slapped him on the arm and he looked up from his doodles, scowling at her.

"WHAT?"

"Glee Club is over, so stop daydreaming about that dwarf and let's go. I have prom dresses to try on."

Finn slammed his notebook shut and got up. He really needed to get the courage to break up with her.

**GLEE**


	4. Chapter 4

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I loved every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Opening lines: I didn't know – Alex Lambert – Song at the end: Goodbye to you by Michelle Branch.

**A.N 3**: Anyone wants to beta-read this? I need someone I can bounce some ideas from. Anyone? (*crickets* *** **crickets*)

**A.N 4**: I typed like the bats from hell were after me, so please; forgive me for any mistakes or errors.

**GLEE**

_I didn't know who you were until you were gone. I didn't know you'd be so special to me. I didn't know, didn't know myself. I didn't know all the love I felt for you. So baby, please, don't go. I didn't know. _

**GLEE**

**Chapter 4**

Rachel stared at herself in the mirror and couldn't do anything but gawk at the image. Roberta was next to her, a proud grin on her face and Igor just sat next to her, shocked.

"Good god, Rachel…" He whispered and the petite girl felt a surge of womanly pride. A guy named Austin, who had more makeup on than both Roberta and Rachel together had pushed and prodded until finally she was banned from looking at any mirrors and was told to just sit and close her eyes.

He had cut her hair and highlighted it. Not too much, just soft tones of brownish gold that did wonders to frame her face. Austin had also done something to make it more fluid and sleek and now it ended in just above her jaw, bangs brushing just her eyebrows. Those had been plucked and prodded and were now sexily curved framing her smoky eyes. The makeup was scarce but oh, ever so present in the tinge of purple on the corner of her eyes, just enough color to make the brown in them pop out.

Roberta had chosen an outfit Rachel would never wear before. Fit jeans with washed out patches on the front pockets and a low cut. The shirt was loose fitting and it fell over one shoulder, white with two black wavy patterns crossing it from side to side and it ended just above her hip bone, leaving a bit of skin showing. On her feet, no sandals or sneakers but nice bubble gum pink heels.

Igor got up in a daze, placed a hand on the exposed skin of her hip and Rachel shivered. His thumb brushed her hipbone softly and she unlocked her eyes from her image to raise her eyes to his.

"You look gorgeous, Amor. Deliciosa."

Rachel laughed in that delicious laugh she had and promptly threw her arms around his neck. Good god the girl had him completely besotted. Igor knew without a shadow of doubt they'd never work out; he was sure he could love her like no man ever would. But he also knew he wasn't the one she wanted; it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy her while it lasted and keep them as friends afterwards.

With that thought in mind, he grabbed both of her hipbones, pulled her closer and bent himself at the waist to bury his face in her hair, nuzzling her ear. Rachel's heart gave a twirl and twist and promptly dropped to the bottom of her stomach; the feel of those muscled arms around her tiny frame did funny things to her insides.

"Thanks…" She murmured and the hot sigh of her words brushed his ear like a caress. Igor let his forehead drop to her neck and willed his body to cool because he was pretty sure that if Rachel knew all the things he wanted to do with that petite frame of hers, she'd take the first flight back to Lima without looking back.

"Oh, for Christ's sake! You're wrinkling her clothes, dumbass; and all those horny fumes are going to ruin her makeup! Will I have to throw water at the two of you?"

Roberta prodded her brother on the shoulder with a bony finger, annoying him and effectively cooling down his arousal. Rachel was blushing to the roots of her hair and God; he could gobble her up with a spoon. In tiny licks and bites…

"Hmmm, so I really got to go. I promised my Dads I'd call them today, so…"

Rachel said while putting on her coat. Roberta said something about going to a friend's house to grab some music sheets and Igor just smiled at Rachel, without saying anything and started walking with her towards her apartment.

"You sure you don't want to call them from my place? We could hang out afterwards, catch a movie, eat some popcorn…"

He wiggled his eyebrows comically and was rewarded when Rachel giggled.

"You know, Austin reminded me of my friend Kurt. Of course with much less make-up and actual hair on the sides of his head (Austin's hair was currently a pink and green Mohawk) but the enthusiasm and the need to makeover-me is certainly there."

Igor placed an arm around her arm and pulled her closer to him as a protection against the still chilly weather; they changed directions towards his house.

"So, excited about singing tonight?" He asked, squeezing her shoulder.

Rachel made a 'duh' face. "Well, of course I am. Your mother's night club is really cool AND she'll provide meals which is a bonus in my current situation." She replied, pausing at the end to blow air into her cold hands; that's what one got for forgetting one's gloves while being pulled out the door by an impatient Roberta.

Igor smiled at her and they kept chatting all the way to his house.

**GLEE**

Finn cracked after hour number 338. He wasn't sleeping well, or eating well; hell, he was barely functioning. Every update he had from Rachel came from Kurt because everyone in Glee club refused to even mention her name around him after that terrible episode where he had almost punched Puck in the face for mentioning calling Rachel and how he thought she was really happy in New York.

He didn't want her to be happy in New York damnit! At least not until she was happy in Lima, after he dragged himself on his knees after her to get her forgiveness and they went to New York together so he could be a firefighter or a cop while she knocked Broadway' socks off with her songs.

He wanted them in New York together! Not Rachel in New York with someone named Igor Valente while he was in Lima, letting Quinn make him miserable. Well, he guessed that was over for now at least. Finn cringed when he remembered the last 5 hours. Quinn had come to his house after Glee Club to nag about something regarding the damn prom again. Finn was so fed up with the fucking prom he couldn't actually remember what she'd been complaining about. He just remembered seeing a picture of Rachel on her Facebook the day before, sitting on a couch leaning against a handsome dude with a tan with a bowl of popcorn on her lap and a hot blonde chick with highlights sitting on the floor in front of them with her eyes fixed on what he thought was the TV; a sentence blow said: "New York with Igor and Roberta – Making changes is easier than I thought with those two around…"

But what killed him were the comments below.

**Igor liked this. **

**Roberta liked this. **

**Igor Valente**

Amor, when we change, the world changes with us. Changing our attitude we get more secure and changing the present we can change our future. Glad to be at your services! =)

**Roberta Valente**

"Crap on a cracker, you two nauseate me! Igor, what's with the poetry, Romeo? Love you too, Rach! ;-)"

**Kurt Hummel**

"Rachel Berry, how come you never told me that Igor was such an eye candy? I'd visit you!"

**Blaine Anderson**

"Rachel, Igor is really an "eye-candy" as my delightful BOYFRIEND just posted on the comment above. I'm glad he's not gay, though! We miss you!"

**Kurt Hummel liked this.**

Then a thousand other comments from Mercedes, Tina and even Santana (though hers wasn't very nice) but he barely read those. All he could see was how HAPPY she looked and how one of the boy's hands was resting on her hip, the other thrown haphazardly behind his head.

And what the hell was that "Amor" crap? Finn had googled it and found out it meant Love and had went even crazier after that. Hence the whole scene with Quinn the next day where she'd complained about something, he yelled at her, they started a shouting match and ended up with him telling her they were over for good this time and that he should've never got back together with her in the first place.

Quinn had left his house breathing fire through her nose and calling him a hundred different names; some of which even involved his mother. So that was why after day number 338 he cracked and was now staring at his computer. A new e-mail with Rachel's address in front of him with the subject "Hi" on it and the cursor blinking on the message field after the only sentence he'd written: "Hi, Rach."

Finn buried both hands in his hair and pulled, frustrated. He had no idea what to write to her and it was making him crazy because he sure as hell had a lot to say; he just didn't know how to convey everything he was feeling into words.

Taking a deep breath, Finn opened a new tab on his browser and logged into his Facebook account. He immediately searched for Rachel's, feeling a pang at the sight of her smiling picture as he always did. He eyed her wall carefully and discovered she'd uploaded a new video. It wasn't exactly new; she'd dated it a couple of days before she left for New York, but it was a new post; yesterday.

He clicked on the video and bit the corner of his thumb while it loaded. His breath hitched when she appeared; beautiful as ever but sad and kind of subdued like Finn had never seen her. He supposed she'd already had everything set to leave, then.

She had a guitar on her lap and that told Finn how distressed she was; Rachel was good at guitar playing but she'd always insisted that no one could see her playing until she'd perfected it.

When the first notes started, Finn frowned. He didn't know the song but the first words hit him like a punch to the face.

"_Of all the things I've believed in_

_I just want to get it over with._

_Tears fall behind my eyes,_

_But I do not cry_

_Counting the days that pass me by_

_I've been searching deep down in my soul_

_Words that I'm hearing are staring to get old_

_Feels like I'm starting all over again_

_The last three years were just pretend_

_And I said_

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything that I knew _

_You were the one I loved _

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to"_

Her big brown eyes filled with tears before she lowered them to her hands, playing the guitar and he swallowed in shame. This girl loved him. She had been nothing but devoted to him and yet… she'd kissed Puck; out of spite, to hurt him. _But you hurt her first and far worse._

"_I want you but I'm not giving in this time…"_

Finn cried. He had managed to make a huge mess of things and between Quinn, that stupid kissing booth and Rachel's new tanned lover boy, his chances of getting her back were getting slimmer and slimmer.

He fell asleep listening to her video on endless repeat, the window with the one sentence e-mail still opened on his computer; mocking him silently.

_Goodbye to you_

**GLEE**


	5. Chapter 5

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I loved every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Opening lines: Another song – Justin Timberlake

Club song – Queen of New Orleans – Bon Jovi

Finn's song – What hurts the most – Rascal Flatts

**A.N 3**: Anyone wants to beta-read this? I need someone I can bounce some ideas from. Anyone? (*crickets* *** **crickets*)

**A.N 4**: I'm sorry I took so long to update this but things were pretty hectic in my life for these past moths. I lost my job, then my dad all in a small space of time so you could all say my muse left me for a while. Hopefully things we'll get back in track from now on.

**GLEE**

_You've been alone, you've been afraid; I've been a fool in so many ways. But I would change my life if you thought you might try to love me so please… give another chance to write you another song and take back those things I've done. 'Cause I'd give you my heart if you would let me start all over again__. _

**GLEE**

**Chapter 5**

Rachel pulled two glasses from the shelf above her head and filled them to the brim with beer before sliding them expertly towards a couple in front of the bar all the while listening to the next order, shouted from her left at the same time grabbing the money and smiling her thanks for the tip the couple left her.

She'd been working the bar for 10 days and managed to catch up faster then she thought. A lot of glasses had been broken and bottles dropped and shattered but she had finally managed to keep up with the orders alongside with Roberta without mixing up anything and pissing off the clients.

"Rachel, Caipirinha: Vanilla; yellow fruits!" Roberta shouted from the opposite side of the bar and Rachel nodded before grabbing a bottle of Vanilla Absolut from under the counter with one hand and a glass with the other. She spooned sugar and a mix of pineapple, mango and passion fruit, mixed them gently and poured the Absolut over it. She topped it with a short straw and slid the glass over the counter towards Roberta, who caught it with ease and placed it on top of a napkin in front of a costumer.

The caipirinhas were a big hit on the nightclub and she could now make them on her sleep; all the one hundred types of them: with cachaça, with vodka, with red fruits, yellow fruits or just lemon. She could make them with sugar or with sweetener. She still had troubles with the most complicated drinks but those Roberta handled more often then not.

Rachel had a lot of fun at the club Igor's dad had lovingly named Rio. They offered a lot of Brazilian treats, like caipirinha and feijoada and every other Thursday was Samba night. Rach loved talking to the Brazilians that came to the club to get a little place of their home back into their lives. She loved listening to the music in their home language and how it sometimes reflected into the English when they talked to her or ordered their drinks.

"Rach! Let's go!"

Igor shouted from Roberta's corner of the counter. Said girl was already placing the closed sign on top of the counter and dismissing the clients' groans; no fancy drinks for 30 minutes, only beer and soda served by the waitresses. She followed Roberta closely and shrugged off more than her share of pick-up lines and the occasional touch of a more daring hand until they reached the small stage on the farthest part of the nightclub.

The most frequent clients were cheering already and Rachel smiled at a group of women that came every week, already at a table closest to the stage, waving at them. She giggled when one of them let out a high pitched scream when Igor climbed the stage and grabbed his guitar.

Roberta moved towards the drums on the back and Rachel stood in the front, behind the mic. Taking a deep breath, she did a mental exercise, thanking God for another opportunity to use her voice and smiled when Roberta started counting.

Igor opened with the guitar, followed by Roberta's drums.

_She said baby our love's just like your songs  
The beat ain't bad but the words are all wrong  
It's time to pack my bags, it's time to just move on  
She sang Johnny, I'm gone, gone, gone  
And she was gone_

_Me and Leigh met summer of '95  
In a burgundy dress lookin' finer than a French wine  
A Cajun queen with another side  
She was a schoolboy's dream, I was out of my mind  
She was lookin' fine  
She said: "You want to drive me home"  
But what I didn't know..._

The crowed cheered widely. Rachel got closer to Igor before the beginning of the chorus and he titled his head, lips close to hers with a sexy smirk; eyes darkening when she "oh, uh-ed" with only the mic between them .

_That night I made my move, man I felt hard_

_When I put my hands in the cookie jar_

_She was more than a girl, she was a Cabaret Star. _

_I was a deer in the lights of a speeding car._

_Nothing is what it seems, she was a Venus the Milo in her sister's jeans_

Igor sang that part and the women went crazy. Rachel smirked at Roberta, who with every song seemed to expel all her demons with the beat of the song. She twirled one of the drum sticks on one hand and winked at Rachel before starting to sing the chorus.

They performed two more songs and bowed for all the applauses, shaking a couple of hands. Igor pocketed one or two phone numbers from the more eager girls and even a pair of panties from a woman who seemed old enough to be his mother. Roberta brushed guys off and Rachel was rushing to follow her to the bar when a hand clamped on her wrist.

She turned on her heels to brush the touchy guy off and her mouth dropped open in sudden shock. She shrieked and threw herself into his arms.

**GLEE**

"Oh my God!" Kurt screeched and pushed Rachel away from him to stare at her in fascination. "Rachel, you look…. Oh my GOD!"

Rachel smiled at him and then threw herself into his arms once more, hugging him tightly. Blaine stood behind them, smiling with a hand on Kurt's waist. She did a double take before throwing herself into his arms as well.

"Kurt, Blaine! How did you guys know I was here?"

Kurt opened his mouth to answer but no voice came. Igor arrived behind Rachel, running a hand through his hair, the muscles in his arms bulging and damp with sweat. He was wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans and worse-for-wear red converses.

"Kurt, shut your mouth!" Blaine hissed and elbowed his gawking boyfriend on the ribs. Rachel was turning her head to check what had made Kurt go gaga when that pair of damp, muscled arms circled her waist and a stubbly chin landed on her shoulder.

"Hey…" Igor whispered in her ear and she shivered. And then promptly blushed when Kurt raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow in a silent: "Interesting". Apparently, Blaine's sharp nudge on the ribs had been effective in breaking the spell Igor's muscled arms had placed him into.

"Oi, lovebirds! What's with the sudden congregation in the middle of the dance floor?"

Roberta had made it all the way to the bar before realizing Rachel wasn't behind her and thinking she was probably being harassed by some crazy drunk, made her way back towards the stage.

"Roberta, this is Kurt and Blaine. Guys, this is Roberta; she's Igor' sister."

Kurt seized her up like only Kurt could, immediately taking notice of the no-nonsense but stylish way she wore her clothes: black jeans with high heeled boots and a white t-shirt that said in bright green letters: "Danger: Next mood swing in five minutes". Her eyes were a deep violet, tinted by colored lenses, highlighted by kohl eyeliner and black eye shadow and her hair had a mixture of pink and blue streaks that oddly enough, suited the blond curls well. And he also noted Igor still had his arms around Rachel and was now whispering something in her ear that caused her to erupt in sudden giggles. Roberta shook Kurt and Blaine's hands and rolled her eyes at them when she heard Rachel's laugh.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it pretty soon."

"Oh, so that's a common thing?" Kurt asked with spiked interested. Finn would have a fit when he discovered Rach and Igor were much chummier than they appeared on her Facebook page and it served him right for being such a stubborn fool who never listened to his brother.

"Common? Hell, ever since Rachel got here, Igor has gone gaga. They're almost joined by the hip and the looks my brother sends her? If he could, he'd eat her up with a spoon, real slow."

Kurt snickered.

"How did you guys managed to get in here anyways?"

"Lucky for us, your dad was at the door talking to the bouncer. We told him we're Rachel's friends from Lima and he just gave us a stamp and told us where to find her." Blaine raised his hand to show the "No alcohol" stamp on the back, smiling charmingly. The chatted for a few more minutes until Roberta realized people were starting to crowd the bar, looking for her and Rachel.

"Oi, Rachel! We have people to serve! I know my brother is a big chunk of handsome flesh but try to let him go for a second!" She yelled over the noise while grabbing one of Rachel's wrists and pulling her towards the bar. Igor let her go after pressing a delicious kiss on her neck and turned to face her two friends, realizing he hadn't even said hello; that girl made him loose even his manners.

**GLEE**

Later that Friday, or maybe it was early Saturday, Finn was on his laptop, having given up on sleep hours before. Kurt had gone on a surprise trip with Blaine and nobody would tell him where and his mom and Burt had left to have an evening out together. So he was going slowly insane from insomnia and all kinds of thoughts of Rachel going through his mind.

He checked her Facebook page every day but she never posted any photos of herself anymore and it was driving him crazy not to be able to see her, check if she was ok and have at least a small image of her to comfort him. Finn was barely able to function these days and was so moody and silent that his mother often tried to get him to open up to her, without success.

Truth was he would never be able to put into words the emptiness he had been feeling since the day Mr. Berry had come to their house to tell them Rachel was missing. Even after he told them she was ok, in New York, the impression he had was that she was dead. It was such desperation, to wonder, to think and ponder if he'll even have the chance to talk to her again, to tell her how he feels that he can't function. Everything reminds him of Rachel and he has a gaping, sucking hole in his chest and an acid in his belly that won't go away.

He felt antsy, like he could crawl out of his skin; he wanted to do something! With a helpless sigh, Finn grabbed the guitar Sam had lent him for him to practice (he'd been taking classes with him) and strummed the tunes of song that just wouldn't go away ever since he heard it. After pondering awhile he turned on his webcam and started recording.

_I can the take the rain on the roof of this empty house,_

_That don't bother me._

_I can take a few tears now and then_

_And just let them out; I'm not afraid to cry_

_Every once in a awhile_

_Even though going on with you gone_

_Still upsets me._

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok _

_But that's not what gets me._

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close and having so much say_

_And having you watching you walk away_

_And never knowing what could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do._

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you_

_Everywhere I go, but I'm doing it._

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that i left unspoken_

He finished the song looking at the guitar in his hands; looking at the câmera made him want to cry. Pausing for a second, he finally looked up and pondered saying something to Rachel but lost the courage and simply stopped the recording, uploaded the video to Youtube and posted on his Facebook page with a single line above it: "I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday…"

He turned his computer off without waiting for possible comments and after one last look at his bed turned to his Playstation, hoping to drown the thousands thoughts in his head in the sounds of the gunshots in his favorite game.

**GLEE**


	6. Chapter 6

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I loved every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Opening lines: The one and only, Adele.

**A.N 3**: Thanks to the amazing LoveandWinning

**A.N 4: **I typed this up like a maniac. So sorry aboutanymistakes and/or misspellings.

**A.N 5**: I'm sorry I took so long to update this but things were pretty hectic in my life for these past moths. I lost my job, then my dad all in a small space of time, I've moved twice since the last post, so you could all say my muse left me for a while. Hopefully things we'll get back in track from now on.

**GLEE**

_I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell you rose to claim it. It was dark and I was over, until you kissed my lips and you saved me. My hands they are strong but my knees were far too weak to stand in your arms without falling to your feet. But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew, all the things you've said they were never true…_

**GLEE**

**Chapter 6**

Rachel closed her eyes, drowsily. She had her head down in Igor's lap and a sugary romantic comedy playing on the biggest flat screen she'd ever seen. Roberta could care less about the no-sense couple on screen and was focused on her computer instead, on the floor next to Kurt and Blaine who were huddled together, deeply engrossed on the movie.

At least Blaine was. Kurt mind was in a tired overdrive. Being Rachel's friend, though he would admit it was difficult sometimes, meant that her happiness was important to him. So seeing her so happy - a complete different person from the depressed one that left Lima a while ago - made him happy, because it meant she was happy. But it also meant that his brother, whom he also loved and cared about, tended to be in agonizing misery when he found out. Not that it wasn't a bit his fault, but still… Kurt knew matters of the heart were extremely complicated and mixing that with Finn, who wasn't the brightest cookie in the box, and you got a lot of wrongs before a right.

Kurt saw that Rachel and Igor weren't a couple yet, but they were going that way and it seemed inevitable for that to happen. From the corner of his eye, he watched Igor brush the bangs from Rachel's forehead softly and lower his head to give her a wet, deep kiss. His heart ached a little and he sighed as he remembered his morose brother, locked into his room day and night. Kurt knew that Rachel and Finn were meant to be together, if faith and other people (especially Finn himself) stopped interfering.

Suddenly, he found himself humming without realizing. His thoughts were broken when Blaine started singing next to him.

"_When will I see you again?_

_You left with no goodbye and not a single word was said._

_Not final kiss to seal any sins_

_And I had no idea of the state we were in_

_I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness_

_And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head_

_But don't you remember?_

_Don't you remember the reason you loved me before?_

_Baby, please remember me once more._

_When was the last time you thought of me_

_Or have you've completely erased me from your memory"_

Rachel was now sitting, strangely quiet, a deep look in her expressive eyes. Blaine's intense voice gave an even sadder note to the already morose song. But without knowing he was expressing Kurt's thoughts, he smiled after he finished, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend's lips softly.

"Rach, have you seen this?" Roberta, who hadn't heard a word Blaine had sung, took out her headphones and turned her computer towards Rachel. Kurt briefly saw Finn's Facebook profile and cringed. Whatever it was that Roberta was about to show them, tended to be awful; given Finn's record.

At the sight of his face, Rachel's heart, kind of dormant, soared back to life and the love she's forgotten existed resurfaced so powerfully she actually gasped. He looked awful: deep, purple bruises beneath his eyes, sunken cheekbones and disheveled hair. He was bearded and looked kind of like a homeless person with his wrinkled t-shirt and battered sweatpants.

It was such a different image from the Finn she'd last seen when she'd left Lima that it was difficult for her to convince herself they were both the same Finn she'd been in love for the better part of her adolescent years.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you_

_Everywhere I go, but I'm doing it._

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken_

It was like being sucker punched. Suddenly Rachel wished she was all the way back to Lima, the city she had longed so much to forget. She wished she was in Finn's room and that she could wipe that sad look from his eyes and make that goofy, lopsided grin of his replace it. She never realized she was crying until Igor kissed the top of her head and brushed her wet cheeks with his thumbs.

"Kurt…" She whispered softly, eyes fixated on the broken man singing for her on the screen. His friend was cringing and with a sigh, he closed Roberta's laptop and climbed up on the couch to grab both of her hands.

"Rach, honey, I… well, I didn't know he had made that video."

"Kurt, oh my God, he looks so awful!" Rachel wailed before sniffling slightly. Igor rubbed her shoulders lovingly with a dark expression. The situation was actually getting somehow surreal with Igor there giving silent support while his…whatever Rachel was to him, cried over her ex.

"Sweetie, so did you. Finn's just realizing what he's lost. He's just a little…sad." Kurt looked at Blaine in gloom and sighed again when his boyfriend just looked back at him with an even more worried expression.

"Kurt, that's not sad. I KNOW Finn. He wasn't like that even when he found out that the baby Quinn was having was his best friend's!"

"Girl, your life is like a television show!" Roberta muttered and sent her brother a dirty look when he scowled at her.

"Rach, baby... I thought you came to New York to get some space from everything. Why are you worrying about Finn?" Blaine touched her knee and gave her one of his calm smiles.

"Because, I still love him!" Rachel yelled and immediately slapped a hand to her mouth and turned to stare at Igor. "I'm sorry…"

Surprisingly, Igor laughed and pulled her straight into his arms to give her a loving squeeze. "Rach, I always knew you loved Finn. I can't tell you I never hoped I'd be able to make you fall in love with me and forget him because I did. You're beautiful and funny and I think we'd be awesome together but I knew it was a long, long shot."

"I don't want to love him…" Rachel whispered to her hands.

"Oh, for God's sake, Rach! If you want to take him back, just do it. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson." Roberta got up from her place on the floor and went to kitchen to grab more Coke.

"You could always come back with us tomorrow if you want." Kurt whispered as if just proposing it out loud would somehow jinx everything.

"I don't know, Kurt. Finn really hurt me. Not only that, he humiliated me and not only **that** but everyone else also took me for granted. I know sometimes I'm bitchy and a drama queen, but…" Rachel started crying and dropped her face in her hands.

"Rachel, I know. At first, you know how I was and how I acted towards you. But once you look past all that, we can all clearly see how amazing and foolishly talented you are. It's kind of ridiculous really…"

That earned him a chuckle and Kurt smiled at her, teeth and all, surprisingly close to tears himself.

"I told you before and I'll tell you again: I love that you've blossomed like this and that Igor and Roberta have been such great friends, but I still think you and Finn have a lot to talk about; even if it's just to end things and move on."

Rachel wiped her eyes with her palms, nodded once then rested her aching head on Kurt's shoulder.

"I'll think about it."

**GLEE**


	7. Chapter 7

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I loved every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Opening lines:

**A.N 3**: Thanks to the amazing LoveandWinning

**A.N 4: **I typed this up like a maniac. So sorry aboutanymistakes and/or misspellings.

**A.N 5**:

**GLEE**

_I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell you rose to claim it. It was dark and I was over, until you kissed my lips and you saved me. My hands they are strong but my knees were far too weak to stand in your arms without falling to your feet. But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew, all the things you've said they were never true…_

**GLEE**

**Chapter 7**

She decided to go, after tossing and turning all night long and sleeping in small patches of time, usually filled with horrible nightmares. Rachel realized, staring out her window that she had come to New York to grow up. She had come to get some distance from everything, to gain perspective and to finally be able to be the person she wanted to be. To let go of her irritating need of perfection and in 10 years to be able to remember her school years with a longing smile instead of tears.

And with that, she also realized that in order to grow up, she needed to stop hiding and face her feelings, for better or for worse. Rachel knew that even if she was going back, it didn't mean she would be able to get things straight right away or even if she'd be able to, but she knew that growing up meant she needed to try.

So now she found herself sitting on a plane between Kurt and Blaine, feeling a debilitating apathy. Her jaws felt glued together and while the two boys tried with all their might to engage her in a conversation, she just couldn't find the appropriate energy to respond.

Kurt stared at her from time to time worriedly. She looked tired. That entire spark they had witnessed on the bar that day was gone and Kurt worried so badly. He worried that by asking her to come back they were forcing her upon a situation that maybe she wasn't ready to face yet.

He also worried about Finn. His brother was in a really dark place and Kurt worried that Finn wouldn't realize at first the gift he was being giving and would screw everything up once again.

When they landed it was night already and they still had an hour and something of driving to do. Rachel was unusually silent behind them. They stopped for a quick bit at a small café in the airport and just as Blaine (always last to finish eating) was finishing his cappuccino a familiar blonde stopped near their table with a smirk.

"I told Igor we'd find you!" Roberta smirked and only had time to open her arms when Rachel threw herself in them. She immediately started babbling incoherent questions until she looked over Roberta's shoulder and realized Igor was walking calmly towards them, ridiculously handsome. Rachel let go of Roberta and sprinted towards him, jumping just as he stopped and opened his arms.

She surprised even herself by circling his waist with her legs; her two inch heels digging into his lower back and pulling his head back to kiss his mouth hotly. Kurt and Blaine stared in open-mouthed shock as Igor placed one gigantic hand on Rachel's behind (taking the opportunity to coop a feel) and buried his hand on her hair to press her face close to his. Roberta only sighed in disgust and turned to the two boys next to her.

"We should probably sit down. That's going to take a while."

**GLEE**

"I'm sooo sorry." Rachel mumbled for the thousandth time, hiding her face in Igor's chest. It rumbled when he laughed, also for the thousandth time. They were squeezed together with Roberta on the back seat of Blaine's car, heading for Lima. When Rachel had left, he and his sister decided she would need all the support she could get and contacted their father, Mr. Valente and borrowed his private jet. Yes, the man had a private jet, how awesome was that? They had originally planned to meet Rachel at her house but Roberta had spotted the trio when they were getting their luggage.

"Amor, you can kiss me anytime you want to. In fact, I insist you do it."

"I just told you I'm in love with someone else!" Rachel chastised him.

Igor looked at her, now more serious.

"Rach, I get that. But you're hot as hell, I like you so much and you taste sinful. Excuse me for not fighting you tooth and nails when you jump into my arms. Besides, they're just kisses, querida. I know you love Finn and if you want to stay with him, I'll be glad to back off and stay as friends. If not, he'll need to be ready because I'm a hell of a competition and I tend to fight dirty."

"He really does." Roberta added with a smirk.

Rachel laughed softly and placed both hands on her hot cheeks. "I'm so confused…"

"Honey, Kurt here will forgive me because I'm sure he'll agree with me but I believe that any of us in your situation would be confused. That's one piece of man candy you have there…" Blaine said, looking at them over his shoulder.

Kurt snorted. Then laughed.

Rachel followed him and pretty soon, they were laughing like maniacs and the gloom mood was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**House of cards**

**By Iana**

Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Fox. I don't own anything and I have no money, so…

Spoilers: Everything up to "Original Song"

**A.N:** As usual, you guys are amazing and I loved every single review! Thanks for the feedback!

**A.N 2:** Opening lines: Fix you - Coldplay

**A.N 4:** Sorry aboutanymistakes and/or misspellings.

**A.N 5**: Finchel is coming people but I'm going to make Finn suffer a little bit more first, beware. ;)

**GLEE**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse. And tears come streaming down your face. You lose something you can't replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you…_

**GLEE**

The next day was Sunday. Kurt kept silent about Rachel coming back to Lima to Finn; which wasn't all that difficult because Finn kept himself locked up in his room the whole day. On Monday, Kurt left super early to Rachel's house because he felt like if he was stuck in the same car with Finn all the way to McKingley he would spill his beans before he could. His stomach kept cramping in a nervous anxiety that he couldn't dispel.

When he got to Rachel's house, he was surprised to see that not only she was halfway ready but that she looked smoking hot and that Igor and Roberta were also going to school with them for God knew how long they were going to stay in Lima. The explanation was the same as how they got to Ohio before Kurt and Rachel had even arrived. Daddy had pulled some major strings to get them transferred to McKingley.

Despite being halfway ready when Kurt got to her house, Rachel was terrified of going to school, which ended up on them being almost late. Kurt felt like it was something out of a movie and he pictured in his head walking in slow motion. He arrived first and stayed next to his locker to wait for Roberta and Igor to convince a hyper-ventilating Rachel to get out of the car and into the school. Igor ended up entering first, drawing the eyes of several females as he walked to the office to grab his schedule. Roberta, who had absolutely no patience left, simply grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, looked her right in the eyes and shook her violently.

"You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are awesome. Stop worrying about what those jackasses will think of you. Raise that chin and walk in like you own this fucking school. I've got your back, baby."

Rachel took a deep, deep breath and with a shaky nod turned on her five inch fuck me heels, lowered her sunglasses to her face and with a last look at Roberta, stepped inside McKingley High.

Kurt's mouth dropped open when he watched her. The school was half empty because the bell had already rang and the students were already making their way to class, but they started to stop on their tracks to watch those 20 mile legs (how could someone so short have such long legs?) as Rachel made her way towards Kurt's locker. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Blaine coming towards him but he was so hypnotized by the silent corridor he couldn't move his head to acknowledge his boyfriend.

"Wow, is that… Rachel?" Blaine whispered and also gaped when Kurt nodded.

She arrived next to them with Roberta close to her heels, took off her sunglasses and shook her head once softly to displace the bangs from her eyes. A younger boy grabbing his books on the locker next to Kurt's suddenly dropped them all as he looked wide eyed at Rachel and Roberta, going back and forth between them.

"Well, I believe we are late. I'll leave this young lady with you and go grab my schedule. We'll meet later. Rachel, remember: chin up."

Roberta left and Rachel looked at Kurt and Blaine with a half-smile.

"Well, that was… unexpected…" She murmured. They started walking towards their first class, the only one she shared with Kurt on that day. Blaine went to his geometry class and when they walked into the room, even the teacher stopped to stare. It didn't help that Igor arrived right after them and caused even a bigger ruckus as every single girl in class started whispering and giggling. The teacher, annoyed, made an ironic joke about Rachel's disappearance and told them to sit.

Rachel spent the whole class with the uncomfortable feeling on the back of her head that she was being stared at. She made sporadic notes, just to be able to remember what the hell the class was about and find a way to study but as time passed, she became even more nervous because she knew she would meet Finn at lunch and then have three more classes with him. In a row.

Igor kept himself silent next to her, ignoring the longing looks the girls sent him but his presence there was enough to calm Rachel down. When the bell rang, Rachel grabbed her things as quick as possible and left the classroom before she suffocated. Again, without saying anything, Igor placed a gentle hand on her back and pushed her forward towards her other class. For the rest of her classes before lunch, if Igor wasn't with her, Roberta was and she slowly started building her confidence.

She knew the real trial would be lunch, the classes she'd have after and Glee Club. Kurt had told her Finn already knew she was back and had spent the last period on the boy's bathroom hyperventilating. Apparently, Mike and Puck had stayed with him and managed to calm him down. Rachel felt even more nervous after that because she knew that the minute they crossed eyes with each other the whole thing could go down ways fast. Especially when he saw Igor and if Rachel knew Igor well enough as she thought she did, he would make sure to cause enough ripples to send the whole thing to hell. Roberta was also strangely quiet, whispering to her brother once in a while as they passed the corridors. As of the other members of the Glee Club, she hadn't passed a single one of them in the hallways. Kurt and Blaine had explained it to her the day before everything that had happened when she was away. Apparently, they had just won Sectionals against – and that had made Rachel incredibly confused – a new group whose leader was her mother and with most of the girls from New Directions.

Quinn had experienced a whole personality change when everyone discovered she used to be fat and unwanted at her old school. She had dealt badly with Beth coming back to Lima with Shelby and a car crash had also helped her to change her ways. Mercedes was dating a jock and Sam was still trying to change her mind about that. Santana had also changed dramatically when her grandmother had discovered she was in love with Brittany. Kurt had said that for days she had been inconsolable. Ironically, it was one of Rachel's father, who had found her crying when he came to pick up some papers with Figgings, that had talked to her and told her that no matter how much she fought against it, if she really loved Brittany, it would keep bothering her like a thorn on her side and that she needed to live her life for herself and not for others. People changed their minds and maybe, her grandma would see that what really mattered was that her "nieta" was happy. Even if she liked girls instead of boys.

So embracing her sexuality made Santana a little more mellow than she used to be. Shocking to Rachel was also discovering that Karowsky was also gay and had changed schools because he was being bullied AND that he was in love with Kurt. The irony of it…

Kurt also told her that New Directions was going downhill fast. They had Mercedes and Santana as great female vocals and Blaine held up his end as the male lead but they needed that something extra that Rachel brought. Only after she left that the New Directions seemed to realize that it wasn't her voice that made the difference. What made the difference was her attitude, as annoying as it could be sometimes, it pushed them up, pushed them to excel to try their best always. And without Rachel and without Finn, who was dealing with all kinds of shit, they couldn't seem to agree in anything. They fought over songs and were lacking, not bothering trying.

So Rachel was a zero when it came to learning anything on that day. Her mind was going a thousand miles a minute. She still felt so conflicted about Igor. He raised the hairs on the back of her neck and sometimes she looked at him and wanted to just kiss him. Tongue and all, deep and wet. But when she thought of Finn, it was like she was grabbed by her heartstrings.

Lunch came faster than she expected. She placed her books on her locker and was making her way slowly to the cafeteria when Roberta joined her.

"How are you hanging on, baby?"

"I'm…fine I think. People are busier staring at me than worrying about trying to put me down. And anyway, after all we've been through together in New York and after I saw how my life can be after I get out of this school in 6 months, there's not much that can bring me down now."

"Good girl!" Roberta gave her a smile and slapped her hand against the cafeteria doors to hold it open for Rachel to pass.

Finn was sitting down at the Glee Club table was for that he was infinitely grateful because he was positive that if he was up the minute he placed his eyes on her his knees would give out. He could barely draw a breath and when she moved her eyes from the blonde next to her and finally saw him, his world which was stopped on its axis, started moving again; slowly and rusty. And his breath which was coming too fast suddenly stopped mid-way to his lungs.

**GLEE**


End file.
